Not a bad start :)
Something to try would be a stronger bass kick that has more oomph and is more steady, I think there is a lack of bass line too. Usually with this genre the bass is side chained with the 4/4 beat. And it normally works great :D (normally lol, I've heard some stinkers, and created a few)
I would also suggest toning down the lead a little, it's pretty high (I know its super hard to do, I always have trouble keeping the pitch from being a shrieker...)
The guy who bombed this before I got to it was just jealous :p There is someone going around bombing everything so just ignore the score you got and go with the reviews :)
Definitely liked this though! Lots of potential, and already better than what I can do lol. I especially like 3:00 and on, when the hat comes in it's really good :) Maybe adding a light clap or snare every other beat would help the beat sound more full too.
Great job!